Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
