Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize