Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
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