my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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