I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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