I am spending my child support on dildos
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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