I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Randomize
