Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize