yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Well I just put wine in my tea
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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