I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
