Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
