you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
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