Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Randomize
