I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
