Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
