If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Randomize
