Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I AM VODKA MAN
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Hello my rib-scented angel!
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
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