so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
40s are totally the cure
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
