Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
