Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize
