Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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