I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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