I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
