okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
True strength comes from lack of pants
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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