you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
