In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize