I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
MIDGETS
????
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
