Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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