these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
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