question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
