The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
someone owes me an orgasm
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Randomize