All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
