I just pynch a tree in the face
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
