I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
