I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I don't deserve a penis
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
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