yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
