we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
