You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
