so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize