When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
