how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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