new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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