Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Randomize
