I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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