it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
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