That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
