I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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