brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
my vag is so smooth its legendary
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
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