People with herpes should wear stickers.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
