True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
