I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
