this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
