I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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