I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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