Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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