It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
