Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
