yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize
