Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
