She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Randomize
