If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
This can only be settled by a dance off.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize