I'm really into asian looking animals
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Randomize
